Surrogacy for Transgender Parents

On Identity and Parenthood

By: Friday Faraday

There is nothing more natural than wanting to start a family, to build something with love and kindness, but this desire is not limited to cisgender families. The same importance toward building a family can be found within the LGBTQIA2S+ community. There is a certain shared experience of curiosity and fear when it comes to family building. For queer people, especially those under the expansive transgender umbrella such as non-binary and gender nonconforming people, that universal yearning to be a parent can fill your mind with some many questions. What are the options? What are the pathways that won’t cause crippling gender dysphoria? There are many more questions that add weight to the curiosity and fear. However, when there

are questions there are also answers. So, let’s get into it.

Due to gender affirming care such as HRT (Hormone Replacement Treatment) and affirming surgeries, fertility does become an issue. For many potential trans parents, carrying a pregnancy is simply not possible or could go directly against their gender identity. However, it is in no way impossible for a trans person to start a family.

When a trans person chooses to medically transition (choosing not to doesn’t make you any less trans btw), they are given the option to freeze their eggs or sperm before they are prescribed hormones for the first time. For many, the desire to have a family one day is a deeply personal issue that does not conflict with their gender identity, and can actually add an extra affirming presence to their journey, making this decision very important. That brings us to gestational surrogacy. There are a number of ways for those facing infertility to overcome roadblocks when planning to have the family that you always wanted This can absolutely be done while respecting your bodily autonomy and your transition. Gestational surrogacy can help future trans parents to join in on the life-changing journey of pregnancy.

At the beginning of their transition, if one chooses to store their eggs or sperm they can be that much closer to starting the process of creating embryos From there, an agency can help find a surrogate that intended parents can connect with. An agency will connect intended parents with surrogates who respect and celebrate their identity. Alternatively, if one has made the choice not to store their eggs or sperm at the beginning of their transition and find themselves later in life wanting to start a family (which is no less valid), they can still choose gestational surrogacy. Intended parents may seek out egg or sperm donors (or both) at reputable clinics and banks that provide safe spaces, or may choose family, friend groups, or others within a community that validates you and is eager and willing to help with the journey.

There is no sugar coating the reality. Being a transgender person comes with its share of struggles when it comes to accessing gender affirming care, safety, and just acknowledgement of who you are as a person. However, as a friendly reminder, you are no less than a person or a future parent for any reason. The process of gestational surrogacy for trans parents functions just as similarly as it does for cisgender parents, you will be there for all the milestones and be supported just as you should throughout the process. The beauty of being trans, non-binary, or gender nonconforming and pursuing family building with gestational surrogacy, is that you can build a family in a way that allows you to be exactly who you are. You can be you–authentically and unapologetically–and you can pursue parenthood without feeling like you have to step outside of your own experience for your dream.